She's Nine

written by Mark Douglas and Bryan Olsen


She struts her stuff from across the room showin off those luscious legs
Wearin' that schoolgirl uniform makin all the young guys beg

I was a lonely school bus driver just working from week to week
She got on the bus and winked at me and I could hardly speak

When everyone else got off the bus she sat down next to me
She was getting so hot and bothered that was plain to see

Then grabbed ahold a my stick shift and made the engine stall
She said there's no grass on the field but we can still play ball

She's Nine and that's just Fine
Tastes so sticky sweet like unfermented wine

She's Nine and that's just fine
She knows how to use it and she's just about to lose it

Her daddy says she's too young he's always on my case
Every time I come to pick her up he shoots me with his mace

My friends have all disowned me they won't talk to me no more
They said you better watch out for Megans Law or you'll go door to door

She's Nine and that's just fine
Police are knockin on my door saying hey man that's a crime

She's Nine and that's just fine
I better get a good Lawyer or I'll be doin' time


The county judge glared down at me and said what do you have to say
I said I direct the courts attention towards exhibit A

Have you ever seen a 3rd grader with such a killer bod
Well the Judge's mouth fell open and he said Oh my god

She's Nine and that's just fine you are free to go but she's all mine
She's Nine and that's just fine she knows how to use it and she's just about to lose it